Wednesday, February 3, 2010
Wilfred and Darius Want Attention
Check out my new blog with fellow comedian and writer, Darius Emadi. Unlike here, there will be regular updates which will include jokes, essays, and descriptions of people we hate. So, check it out at http://dariusandwilfred.wordpress.com/.
Saturday, January 9, 2010
Morning News
- A Japanese whaling ship struck a vessel of the anti-whaling group, Sea Shepherd Conservative Society, and left the ship severely damaged. In their defense, the Japanese whaling ship said they were being guided by Dick Cheney.
- Google released the Nexus One, it’s challenge to the iPhone and BlackBerry. Google execs say it will have many recognizable features from the Google search engine, such as Gmail, Google maps, and an upgrade to Bing.
- A federal appeals court repealed Washington’s law banning incarcerated felons from voting. In related news, a presidential campaign has begun for the cast of Cool Hand Luke.
- In reference to the 85,000 jobs lost last month in the U.S., President Obama encouraged people to continue their hard work, and said “The road to recovery is never straight.” “He’s right,” said Lindsey Lohan.
- Google released the Nexus One, it’s challenge to the iPhone and BlackBerry. Google execs say it will have many recognizable features from the Google search engine, such as Gmail, Google maps, and an upgrade to Bing.
- A federal appeals court repealed Washington’s law banning incarcerated felons from voting. In related news, a presidential campaign has begun for the cast of Cool Hand Luke.
- In reference to the 85,000 jobs lost last month in the U.S., President Obama encouraged people to continue their hard work, and said “The road to recovery is never straight.” “He’s right,” said Lindsey Lohan.
Don't See
They should've called it "it's dissappointing"
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Fan mail
Dear Wilfred,
I might be in love, but let me explain.
I recently attended an improv show where you did stand-up comedy. You don’t know me, because I did not feel compelled to talk to you after the show. I thought it was mediocre at best, but that doesn’t bother me – I’m not one for laughing.
I consider myself to be an artist in the making; I, too, write. My days consist of long periods, sitting in silence and reflecting upon the human experience. Considering that I find such extensive loneliness necessary to strive as an artist, I have found it hard to sustain a relationship in my life.
But, I think that you and I could have a very successful romance. As I’ve said, for the sake of my art, I need space. And you, I think, could be someone whom I could easily pretend is not there. The relationship would probably work as follows: you think of me as your reason for living, and every so often, I’ll consider you to be someone else in the room.
Think about it, because I can’t stop thinking about your weightless frame sleeping in the next room.
Sincerely,
M.E.
On another note:
I might be in love, but let me explain.
I recently attended an improv show where you did stand-up comedy. You don’t know me, because I did not feel compelled to talk to you after the show. I thought it was mediocre at best, but that doesn’t bother me – I’m not one for laughing.
I consider myself to be an artist in the making; I, too, write. My days consist of long periods, sitting in silence and reflecting upon the human experience. Considering that I find such extensive loneliness necessary to strive as an artist, I have found it hard to sustain a relationship in my life.
But, I think that you and I could have a very successful romance. As I’ve said, for the sake of my art, I need space. And you, I think, could be someone whom I could easily pretend is not there. The relationship would probably work as follows: you think of me as your reason for living, and every so often, I’ll consider you to be someone else in the room.
Think about it, because I can’t stop thinking about your weightless frame sleeping in the next room.
Sincerely,
M.E.
On another note:
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