Sunday, September 27, 2009

The Daily News


-Glen Beck received a key to the city from Mount Vernon, WA mayor, Bud Norris. When the event was barraged with protestors, Beck commented, “These white people have a deep-seated hatred of white people.”

-A detailed examination shows that the Los Angeles area Metrolink has led to 244 deaths in the last 15 years. “See, I’m not the only killer in L.A.,” said O.J. Simpson.

-Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, held up Auschwitz blueprints to prove the existence of the Holocuast to Iran before the UN's General Assembly. In an attempt to disprove Netanyahu, Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, said “Next he’s going to say we have plans to deploy our nuclear weapons.”

U.S. officials caught Roman Polanski after he left the country to avoid a statutory-rape conviction that occurred 31 years ago. With his capture, the population of free celebrity rapists has been reduced to R. Kelly.

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