Kent, WA

When my dad became frustrated, it was customary for our family to pretend as if we didn’t hear the four-letter words coming out of his mouth. One morning, I woke to my dad murmuring curse words while slamming drawers and doors. “Hey, Dad,” I said still groggy and delirious enough to actually ask him what was troubling him.

“Get the paint out of the shed and repaint the garage,” he replied.

Retracting any further consolations, I asked why, and he told me someone spray-painted “Go back to Chinas” across our garage door.

“We aren’t even Chinese,” he said. He was partly right, we were, and still are, Filipino. But due to a history of colonization in the Philippines, most Filipinos are a little Chinese and Spanish, including our family. He continued, “Well, your mom is a little…”

“I don’t think they’re too concerned with subtleties, Dad.” I went out back, and collected some paint rollers, trays, and two half-full cans of Ivory Milk.

In 1999, my parents became homeowners for the first time, moving to Kent, WA in an attempt to find a safe place to settle. According to the 2000 census, Kent’s demographics are more diverse than Seattle’s, and, even more appealing, the diversity isn’t sectioned off into neighborhoods. With various ethnicities living amongst each other, Kent would be the perfect place to raise a child in developing multicultural awareness. My parents, oblivious to this opportunity, moved us into the city and maintained reclusion.

Before I painted the garage, I washed it with soap and water. I unwound the hose, rinsed off the suds, then sat there, frustrated, waiting for the wall to dry in the morning sun. I wasn’t mad at my dad. I wasn’t mad at the jerk who had the handwriting of a third-grader. I was angry because I should have stayed in my room when I heard my dad cursing.

We never caught the culprit. How were we to – go door-to-door asking how many countries were named China? I just sat there, thinking that this doesn’t happen in Kent. It happens in Alabama, or Mississippi, amongst a group of bald men in leather boots.

I had a cut on my hand that I reopened because I stretched out my palm while carelessly throwing the materials back in the shed. I went back in the house, washed my hand, put ointments on it, and bandaged it correctly. And I spent the rest of the day giving it the time it needed to heal.

I couldn’t avoid the cut on my hand, just as my family couldn’t avoid the vandalism on our garage. We needed to treat it delicately, with sincere concern. But first, we had to realize that wherever we are, we’re going to scrape our hands. It’s not about avoiding the cuts, but instead, about how carefully we treat them when they do arise.

Recent News

- The parents of the 'balloon boy' plan to plea guilty and receive a probation sentence to avoid Mayumi Heene (the mother)'s deportation to Japan, the country in which she is a citizen. Supporting her deportation, though, are her three sons.

- The Federal Reserve announced new rules that would prohibit banks from charging consumers overdraft fees without the permission of the cardholder. This was initiated to save money for numerous financially irresponsible people, such as the Federal government.

- Taylor Swift becomes the youngest person to ever win the CMA's top award, Entertainer of the Year. "Who the hell is Taylor Swift?" said every American minority.

- A judge ruled that a man who spent the last 18 years in prison for a murder committed in 1991 is innocent. Many eye-witnesses recanted their original statements that said, “He looked like that guy, you know. Mexican or something.”

- Ivar’s president, Bob Donegan, admitted that the billboard found undersea was a hoax planted there for a marketing ploy. Donegan said the idea came from their marketing director, Mayumi Heene.

In theaters:

Good Hair

Approve Referendum 71

It's a little late to hop on this, considering that ballots need to be in by November 3rd. But if you are one of the few who frequent this blog, and you haven't voted, then please do a simple something to help out a fellow human being.

If you need more convincing, here are some quotes from the "I voted to REJECT Referendum 71!" facebook group. If you don't care to uphold the domestic partnership law, then at least vote APPROVE on Ref. 71 to spite these idiots.


Russ Woodruff says
"...would you like to go to the bathroom and see a cross-dressing and transgendered individual males walk out of the same bathroom as you? having to explain to your children why the freak is wearing a dress? In that case .. non cross-dressing rapist and murders can just dress up and come check you out.. and have sex in your public bathroom"

Russ brings up a good point. Referendum 71 is going to put more "murders" in public restrooms to murd people. Not to mention the fact that upholding this law will force people to speak with their children. Now, who wants to do that?

Polly Stathopulo says
"God created man and woman first and for a purpose...to get married, produce children, etc. If it was God's purpose to have 2 of the same sex be together he would have made 2 men or 2 women...he didn't...and he stated why he made Adam and Eve."

But Polly, I remember that Adam and Eve had two sons - Cain and Abel. Abel was killed by Cain, and Cain was succeeded by Enoch. Now, there's one important question - from where did Enoch's unnamed mother come? Probably from the vagina of Eve, the only woman of the previous generation, who happened to also be CAIN'S MOTHER.
Domestic partnership equals bad. Incest, totally normal.

Nata Kulikov says
"Jesus is coming. and very soon. I just hope that people start to live the way GOD wants them to live.
who ever wants this GAY thing is just sick person( Devil closed their eyes )
GOD Loves everyone in this world and wans us all to be in heavn with him when the times comes."

Nata, for your sake, I hope the test to get into heaven isn't written.


For more real info, check out approvereferendum71.org

Recent News

The mother of the 6-year-old balloon boy admitted to officials that the situation was all a hoax. Other hoaxes she is taking responsibility for include crop circles and David Blaine.

Ex-Golden Girl, Bea Arthur, left $300,000 in her will to the Ali Forner Center in New York, an organization that supports homeless LGBT youth. After hearing the news, many gays have replied, "Thank God she’s dead."

Union workers have refused to help Ford Motors cut labor costs. Workers worried that if they cut costs down, they would have to change the company name to Kia.

Television producer, Laurie Jacobson, shares stories of ghost sightings on famous Hollywood hangouts. In the interview, Jacobson said, “Sometimes I’ll see a ghost, and it will take me a minute to realize that it’s just Joan Rivers.”

If you're looking for something really spooky, check out the dead people at...

Bodies: The Exhibition
Sunday - Thursday : 10:00 am - 7:00 pm
Friday - Saturday : 10:00 am - 10:00 pm
1505 5th Ave
Seattle, WA 98101



Happy Halloween!

Improvised scene work

The final scenes from Woody Allen's Take the Money and Run:


Whenever I tell someone that I'm going to improv rehearsal, they jokingly respond "how do you practice improv?" Well, there are multiple ways to practice improv, but one of the best is to practice the essentials of scene building - quickly developing C.R.O.W., creating high stakes, making strong decisions, etc. - and making all of that second nature to one's self. After that happens, the focus can be put on the "game" that is being played.

There are many important elements to the final scenes in Take the Money and Run. 1) The two characters focus solely on their relationship. 2) Virgil has strong motives - to rob this man. 3) Status takes a sharp turn in the end, changing the holder of it from Virgil to Eddie. 4) It's fun and doesn't worry the audience. 5)There is an obvious "game" being played.

The "game" was one of the best I have ever witnessed. It was to reminisce in a situation where two people would not be civil. But what made it stand out was that the game was about their relationship. It stayed about the two, and it didn't need any outside influence.

Though the scene isn't improvised, it is still one that can teach improvisers about the necessities of scene work. It's a great comic scene that follows a simple through line, it develops the essentials to scene building, and most of all, it is fun to watch.

The Exorcist: Still Possessing Girls

Fuck Paranormal Activity, because I haven't seen it yet. And fuck vampires, zombies, and people in masks, because the scariest thing this Halloween is Catholics.

Last night was the first time I watched The Exorcist in its entirety. I'm 23, and I've wasted all of my previous years fearing things like fire and rapists, when all along, I could have used God to give me the creeps.

Remember the good ol' Testament, when God smote the world with floods and murderous Abrahams? Well The Exorcist taps into that same market, utilizing the fear of God and his counterpart, Satan, to instill a supernatural terror in its many viewers.

Having seen the film 36 years after its original release, many plot points were spoiled. For example, I knew that Regan MacNeil (Linda Blair) was the one who would be possessed. So I watched the opening sequences with Father Merrin (Max Von Sydow) in Iraq and I anxiously thought, "Where's the demon bitch at?" But as the movie plays out, and the climax welcomes back Father Merrin to help perform the exorcism, it all pays off in a happy vomiting death match.

So if you're one of the 30 or so people who still haven't seen The Exorcist, see it. Because it's an original, truly horrifying movie. And it makes Vincent Price look like a kid in a bed sheet.

Children are the Wild Things

Where the Wild Things Are is the closest one will get to being inside of a child without having to fear that the parents will press charges against you. Spike Jonze creates a phenomenal story about the inner workings of a child's mind. In changing the 338 word children’s book into a feature length film, Jonze creates a movie welcome to people of all ages.

Max is a 9-year-old boy whose imaginative life is filled with rough housing and harmless violence. When he retreats to his imagination, he finds a group of monsters who include Tony Soprano, the Last King of Scotland, and that guy that Daniel Day-Lewis killed. The monsters request that he becomes their king, and Max gladly accepts their offer. But it isn’t long until real problems occur – the loss of friendship, love affairs, rat infestations – causing Max to realize that he is ill-equipped for such a position. He leaves at the height of the troubles and once again finds solace in the real world.

Where the Wild Things Are is a recreation of a child's mentality. Just like other children, Max has a tendency to run from his problems, even if he create them in his imagination. Spike Jonze does a great job at demonstrating this, showing us that, just like children, Max is a character with a short attention span who is focused until the fun stops being so fun.

So if you have a lazy kid that's a dick then leaves the scene of the crime, see Where the Wild Things Are. And maybe afterwards, you won’t hit him so hard when he fucks up.

The Daily News

-Glen Beck received a key to the city from Mount Vernon, WA mayor, Bud Norris. When the event was barraged with protestors, Beck commented, “These white people have a deep-seated hatred of white people.”

-A detailed examination shows that the Los Angeles area Metrolink has led to 244 deaths in the last 15 years. “See, I’m not the only killer in L.A.,” said O.J. Simpson.

-Israeli Prime Minister, Benjamin Netanyahu, held up Auschwitz blueprints to prove the existence of the Holocuast to Iran before the UN's General Assembly. In an attempt to disprove Netanyahu, Iranian president, Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, said “Next he’s going to say we have plans to deploy our nuclear weapons.”

U.S. officials caught Roman Polanski after he left the country to avoid a statutory-rape conviction that occurred 31 years ago. With his capture, the population of free celebrity rapists has been reduced to R. Kelly.

Last Night You Missed:

Dead Until Twilight

Catch Blood Squad every Saturday at 10:30 pm until October 31st!
Odd Duck Studio
1214 10th Ave Seattle, WA 98122

When I Grow Up...

In 1994, I wanted to grow up and play basketball for the Seattle Supersonics. In 1997, I wanted to play for the Philadelphia 76ers. In 2001, my high school coach called me the Liberace of basketball. Now I want to be a writer.

Protecting Yourself Against Swine Flu

There are many things one can do to avoid the current H1N1 pandemic(washing your hands, strengthening your immune system, not eating at Arby’s), but the one thing that would reduce all risks is ridding your life of Swine Flu’s number one agent – children.

In the 80s, swarms of people successfully dodged AIDS by avoiding interactions with blacks and gays. And look how AIDS-free we all turned out. Well, now we’ve got a new problem on our hands - one known as the Swine Flu carrying children of America.

So keep your hands clean, put those masks on, and move those kids into a ghetto. Because H1N1 is right around the corner, and it is not going to give you a friendly greeting.

Daily News

- More water was discovered on Mars buried in a crater formed by meteorites. Scientists say the amount of water found was equivalent to that in Kirstie Alley's post-shower belly button.

- Recent footage of children singing praises of President Obama has caused commotion amongst Republicans. Democrats have noted that President Bush, too, was serenaded in 2006 by children of the Gulf Coast, though less in praise, but more to teach him the rest of the alphabet.

- Susan Atkins, the imprisoned Charles Manson follower, died at the age of 61. The announcement of her death was made at 11:46 pm, and interrupted by Kanye West at 11:47.

- The social networking site, Twitter, has announced a major boost in funding. Website co-founders were unable to explain the funding increase in detail due to the fact that they announced this on Twitter.

- Though the dangers were made apparent to parents, studies show that most parents will not give their children H1N1 flu shots. Researchers are now changing the name from Swine Flu to Natural Selection.

Trailer of the week:

Post #1, vol. 2

Welcome to my fresh start at blogging! Here, you'll find instructions on how to achieve such heroism and valor as I have, mixed with occasional moments of desperation, and an even more occasional plea for help.

Included will be essays, maybe a short story, probably an update on the news, and if I can figure out how to do it, links to other stuff.

So stay tuned for more gut-splitting, edge-or-your-seat reading. Because the fun has only just begun again.